Bank on love

You can’t spend money you don’t have. Same thing goes for love.

None of us can afford to buy everything we want. If there’s something we really want, we put back a little money here and there until we have enough to cover the debt. That works fine unless we get sloppy about saving and pull out a little for this and a little more for that. Pretty soon, it comes time to buy that thing you really wanted, but you don’t have enough money in the bank anymore to pay for it.

Love is like that.

Each time you show your child (or your spouse or your neighbor) kindness (or respect or attention or affection), you’re making a deposit into your “love account” with them. And, each time you criticize or yell or abuse or degrade them, you’re making a withdrawal.

If your withdrawals exceed your deposits, you overdraw in your relationship with them. Constant overdrafts lead to bankruptcy.

Thus, we must choose our battles wisely. It’s a lesson I’ve tried to follow with my children; I’ve done a poorer job with the adults in my life.

We can’t throw a fit about every little thing that doesn’t suit us. If we constantly correct our children about the way they dress and the way they keep their room and the music they listen to, we’ll have nothing left in our love account with them when it comes time to fight the really important things, things which put our children in real physical danger.

Same thing in a marriage, at work, at your child’s school, at the grocery store.

Save your battles for the things which matter most.

Then, when it’s time for a withdrawal, you’ll have enough love in your account to cover the debt.